From Another Blog (where I only ever made this one post)

I created a different blog for IRL folks to read, and I intended to do lots of upkeep to make it look nice and calm their 'fears' for the kids. I haven't made another post, because I find it REALLY hard to motivate myself to attempt to make our lifestyle appealing to others who just don't get it. It's too much work, we've had too much going on IRL and I need a new purpose for that blog.
So, if I ever do make another post there, the purpose will not be to 'win over' the people who I thought I'd need to 'win over'. Anyway, I thought I'd post it here as a very delayed update since I noticed my most recent 'update' is no longer applicable. :D

http://jennshomeschoolblog.blogspot.com/
Monday, December 14, 2009
Our Current Educational Status
This year, I enrolled the three youngest in public school. It seemed like a good idea, and they were all very happy and excited to go to school. I was worried about how well Budder would do, because he wasn't reading well (which is one reason I wanted to send him to school, I thought that *I* just couldn't teach him) and he is a VERY sensitive soul. I wasn't worried about Princess at all, she's a very eager and outgoing person and she loves doing school work and being around other kids. I was worried about the concept being a bit overwhelming for Monkey, because she is very shy and it takes her a while to warm up to people. She also HATES getting too much attention, she can't stand being the focus of attention by someone she's not familiar with- and she's just SO DARN CUTE, everyone always pours attention on her.


I'm not going to go through EVERY single incident here, but due to the cumulative effect of multiple 'events', all three of them are now home full time and they are LOVING it. Budder had the WORST time of all of them, he became a different person.
Public school is just NOT an appropriate environment for him. He is just too 'quirky', and such an environment is spirit crushing for him.
(quirky- he has sensory issues, he takes things that people say too literally and doesn't always pick up on social cues, he is very sensitive to how others treat him and what they say to him and about him, his learning style is so different from what they teach to in the school setting)
After a few weeks in school he became Angry with a capital A all the time, every little thing that went 'wrong' was setting him off. He started lashing out at everyone verbally and physically, and he just was NOT able to stop himself. When I stepped in to stop him and redirect him he was devastated that he'd done something so 'bad'. He would start sobbing, calling himself names, saying he wished he was dead so he wouldn't 'hurt' anyone else again, while punching himself in the face/head or banging his head on the floor/wall.


I found out some of the things that were happening at school that caused this drastic change. I went to the school and spoke with the people who should have been able to help change things. They were eager to help at first, but then they would say they would do something one day and say they couldn't do it the next. It was very frustrating. I gave them too much time with him, hoping they could work things out and meet his educational needs and not cause him emotional harm. In the end, they could do neither- they were giving him failing grades, and he continued to go downhill fast. He began to say things about killing himself, then he progressed to saying how he could do it. I was terrified. I was terrified of losing him, I didn't want to make the 'wrong' decision and leave him in school OR pull him out and bring him home- I was frozen and did not know what to do logically. In my heart, my instincts were telling me to bring him home NOW. SO I ignored my 'head' and all those thoughts that I was failing him by bringing him home, the pressure of wanting to please everyone else, the lure of trying to be 'normal' for once. I ignored ALL of that and I brought him home. He was still very angry for a couple of weeks, but he improved immediately. He stopped punching himself in the face, he stopped hating himself, and he is doing much better now.

Oh, we found out that he needs glasses, he is VERY farsighted and he could not see the letters, THAT is why he couldn't read. His reading has picked up greatly since we pulled him from school, and at home he is not 'behind', he is just where HE needs to be. He is doing much better with one on one help and attention that the school just is not able to provide for him. He is gaining confidence, but it is easily undermined by well meaning people when they 'quiz' him or ask him about 'school'.


Since I had decided to put the kids in school, I had not purchased homeschool supplies for this year. I am still working on gathering everything, I've been buying things a little at a time. Right now we have been 'de-schooling', which means I have not been doing any 'lessons' with the kids. I'm letting them get the school experience out of their systems and I'm letting them be kids, while we wait for the materials to arrive or be purchased.

We are going to be using Oak Meadow curriculum when we start, which sounds like a perfect fit for the kids. It is a gentle curriculum, they will learn a LOT but it will all be at their pace with no pressure involved.

I know everyone doesn't agree with homeschooling, and I agree that not everyone should homeschool. I also think that public school just doesn't work for everyone (and private isn't much different). We've been through a LOT of stress this year, and we could use all the support we can get. I'll be adding posts to this blog sporadically with updates and homeschool information. I hope this isn't too boring to read, and I certainly hope it doesn't cause anyone ill feelings. While I will be promoting homeschooling, and I do believe that the public school system failed MY kids- I would never think poorly of others whose children thrive within the public school system. It does work well for some, just not for everyone. Every family has different needs and different ways of meeting those needs. SO please don't take any pro-homeschooling statements as anti-public school. That is not my intent.